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Aahhh, the Olympic Games torch relay. God, where’d all them protesters come from? Free Tibet! Free Tibet! Boycott the games! Pfft, get outta here. Like China cares if you decide to put on Channel 9 instead of Channel 7, not because the fully sick Thorpie ain’t swimming no more, but cos you’ve decided to join the uni students, hippies and Big Brother housemates who wear Che Guevara t-shirts and don’t shower. Bet you’re one of those suckered into believe the “global warming” and “climate change” thing they talk about. We survived the so-called “Asian Invasion” in the late ’90s, and the Aussie yobbos rioting in Cronulla the other year, a few degrees of extra warmth won’t hurt. Think about it. When the heat comes, the girls wear less at the beach and Chadstone shopping centre. Who doesn’t wan’t warmth? Think of the boobies!

And boycotting China and/or Chinese products, I have to laugh. C’monnn. Seriously, I’d love to see you live without your iPod, computer, tv, stereo, shoes, clothing, jeans, camera, Yum Cha Daily, dinner plates. Everything. Lemme find you a cardboard box. You can live in that. So long as it’s from Korea or Thailand.

Wanna whinge about something closer to home? Whinge about the RAAF. Take out the Formula 1, Bathurst 1000 pre-race flyovers and the Avalon Air Show, they sit around for 11 months of the year. And they are costing you big tax dollars too.