… every news program with a story on al-Qaeda has the same footage of the “terrorists” on the monkey bars, and the “terrorist” climbing out of a hole in the ground in slow motion? I laugh every time. It’s so… generic. At least when there is footage of George Bush making a wanker of himself he is doing a different speech. ‘Cept it’s been happening daily since 2000, so the whole ‘mess-up-your-speech-and-add-many-a-pause-before-correcting-yourself’ shtick has been wearing thin since 2001.

Also, some dude who was like a Queensland rugby league god, he died today. But his name also makes me laugh. Dick ‘Tosser’ Turner. As the kids of today say, LOL. What a terrible nickname! Tosser. Poor guy. It’s as bas as the Nigger Brown Stand in Toowoomba, only with less Aboriginals wanting compensation. I bet some English bloke named Nigel came up with it. Well, Tosser shoulda followed Aussie Rules. But with a name like Dick Turner, I’m sure the AFL crowd could’ve come up with nickname being a little more cryptic. Because what makes a Dick turn, if indeed, a Dick does turn? And where does it turn? Does it bat for the same team or go for something more upmarket? Cos a Dick would never spend a night with the bird who plays Roberta Williams on Underbelly. God, what a skank! She sounds like stereotypical Australian born n’ bred in Dandenong.

Maybe it was a night out with a fat chick noone likes? Does Dick ‘Tosser’ Turner in the AFL world then become Dick ‘Casey Donovan’ Turner? “Hey Casey, get over ‘ere.” That sounds pretty cool. Much better than Tosser. Then you’d assume he turned off women, hyper-obese women at that, to turn to the dark side, or in Australian music’s case, Anthony Callea. Or one of the guys from Human Nature. I don’t care which one, they’re all gay, just not the short one with permed hair. Ugh. What a poof!

And see the post below? The one of Kev doing a high-five? Two days later the Sunday Herald Sun had an article on Kevin Rudd having some business with the Hi-5 makeup/fashion department or something, maybe the best way to grow and/or trim sideburns on holidays, or maybe it was for his missus who’d make every Worst Dressed list if she were at a Noone-cares-anymore Hollywood awards ceremony. “Tonight on E! News, Therese Rein, fat and badly dressed PM’s wife, speaks to Oprah for diet and fashion tips. Hi, I’m Ryan Seacrest”. I’m totally psychic, but I can’t reveal your Tattslotto numbers unless you pay me handsomely, in which case, I might win you $15m, or zero. But you’ll still owe me the money.