Why would you pay good money to see Avatar in 3D when you can get Misa Campo here for free? She’s hotter than any blue chick, Smurfette included.

It’s New Years Eve in 78 minutes. Not sure what to do for tomorrow night. I’ve got a bottle of red wine and a bottle of white wine, both freebies, and I’m not a wine drinker. The bank balance won’t allow for beer, not when Fantastic Noodles, beef flavour, needs to be bought.  I’m guessing two bottles of filth-tasting drink down my throat will mean I’ll wake up either hugging the toilet, vomit everywhere OR wake up with pants around my ankles, poop and vomit everywhere. Anyone wanna swap?

Oh, Happy New Year y’all.

Y’know, the only decent things to happen in 2009 were -

+ $900 from Homo Rudd.
+ This Toshiba TV which I bought with said $900.
+ $700 tax return.
+ WRX rims for the car which I bought with said $700
+ Weezer’s “Raditude” album. Looking at MTV, Video Hits, Top 40 Radio… hardly any music is worth paying for. This. Is. The. Best. CD. of. 2009, without a doubt.
+ Finding CC’s at Woolworths. Much better than Dorito’s.
+ Pepsi Max addiction.
+ $600 from first paid website.
+ Blu Ray player which I bought with said $600, plus HDMI cable, DVD/Blu Ray movies etc.
+ Finally getting a copy of Weezer’s “Suzanne”.
+ The way Summer arrived three weeks late in Queensland. Still mega-humid at the moment, but.
+ Realising that the US version of The Office is WAYYYYY better than the UK version.
+ Funny People.
+ Parker Lewis Can’t Lose season one on DVD.
+ Goodbye Virgin Ignite Credit Card. Everyone was spewin’ when it changed, because they only got the card in the first place because of it’s huge, rounded corner. Then Ignite come along, ruined it all. Mine’s now in a dozen pieces.

I just wish to say I got TV reception now. Yes! Also, it is Christmas tomorrow, so do yourself a favour and have some ham and turkey and pork and chicken and potatoes and gravy and voluminous amounts of alcohol for me. I’ve got a frozen spag bol in the freezer, a handful of Cheese N’ Onion chips left in this bag, and two half bottles of Coke Zero. I went to Safeway earlier, but I wasn’t gonna walk 300m from the car park to do shopping, waiting 30 minutes in the 8 items or less line. It was chockers there.

Anyway, have a great, happy, safe, alcohol-fuelled day tomorrow, and I’ll see you sometime in the new year after the Boxing Day Test.

I moved on the weekend. I have no TV aerial outlet in my room, one bar of 2G mobile reception and the Internet is over the limit, so it’s dialup speeds for another week.

Luckily, I’m about to start work, so I’ve full 3G reception here.

My old housemates are moving up north so I had to go. No fair. They were fun.

Anyway, I’m gonna be pretty quiet, pretty bored, pretty stressed for the next few months. I can’t live without TV.

See you next year!

I come across this story on Ninemsn, about 2009’s top internet searches.

“Social networking and video sharing websites are as popular as ever, a new internet survey shows.

Facebook and YouTube were the two most popular search terms typed into google.com.au during the year, while Michael Jackson’s death also sent people rushing to their computers, the survey by Google found.

Indicating email is far from obsolete, Hotmail was the third most searched for website, followed by ebay, MySpace and Google.”

Hang on. People go to Google to search for Google, Facebook, Youtube, eBay, Hotmail and MySpace? Wouldn’t it just be common sense to type in that name, with a .com on the end, in the address bar? I mean, it’s not like you’re searching for something more complex, like say, Hot Chicks With Dogs With Boners [which, coincidentally, can be found at hotchickswithdogswithboners.com ].

God, has it been three or four weeks since my last post? Don’t worry, I’m all good. For now. I haven’t had a bad case of diarrhoea, whether it be from dodgy Wog food, too much beer or lollies that “may have a laxative effect” after excess consumption. I have had my car serviced though. I was originally planned on spending $500, then a few quick bills come in, so that figure was revised down to $300. Ended up costing me $450 anyway, so technically I was $50 in front. With a head gasket on it’s way out. And it’s no simple changeover, nosiree, this $40 part means the engine has to be pulled out, timing belt changed, everything else bar swapping the motor to one from an STi WRX, which’d probably be cheaper anyway.

Also been doing the usual watching of Simpsons, South Park, Futurama et al before bed, plus tons of work. It’s really weird doing maintenance shifts; I don’t usually get up before 7:30am for anyone, so now with regular maintenance work, I’m up around 7:30am on days off. And the grog shop don’t open until 9am. I tell ya, Queensland is weird. I just found a drive-thru bottle shop.

We have the work Christmas party next Friday. The second cricket test starts next Friday. I have next Friday off work. It shouldn’t take a genius to realise that day off work + cricket = voluminous amounts of beer. Plus at the work do, they’re probably gonna go for some light beer anyway, so it’ll be good to get a head start.

These hot nights are a killer, eh? So can’t wait for the second week of April to arrive. Much like I can’t wait for the November thunderstorms to arrive. It’s been pretty gay this year, compared to the past two Novembers, where we had two continuous weeks of thunderstorms. Haven’t had much rain either. It’s hard to see how we’ve had less rain than Melbourne since the start of July, but I still don’t agree with the notion of “global warming” or “climate change”, not when the only people who believe in it are hippy protesters. They stink anyway, so if it were true that it’s getting warmer, they’d get stinkier, and people on Melbourne trains would have to cover their noses with their shirts and write about it to the Herald Sun editorial a bit more often.

I feel kinda ripped off. My Smith’s chips flavour wasn’t picked. Instead they chose Caeser Salad over my Bacon Double Cheeseburger. What gives? And the thought of eating Skippy-flavoured chips is just wrong. I wouldn’t eat kangaroo from the butcher or Coles New World, and I ain’t touching kangaroo and emu-flavoured chips. Buttered popcorn flavour is pretty alright, but.

On a more positive note, I have started to get into The Office. Not the UK one, the American one. I love the awkwardness of Michael’s “jokes”, and how insane Dwight is. Total killer. Makes me giggle lots. Like Season 12 of South Park. Just bought it the other day, with a Wil Anderson book, when all I wanted to buy was My Name Is Earl Season 4. Good ol’ impulse buying. But you’ll be glad to hear that my credit card is now in a dozen pieces, cancelled, and replaced with a Visa Debit. So so good, it is. No car loan either. I rock. Now to start saving, and keeping away from eBay. Soooo many goodies on that thing, but do I really need a 3 year old Mac Mini with 512mb RAM and no DVD burner because I can’t afford the $60 dearer, yet newer one with 2GB RAM, Snow Leopard, DVD burner, Photoshop, everything else?

Anyway, I’m not dead yet, so please don’t worry for me. I’m doing very sweet, and I today found out the name of the hot chick who works at the hairdresser next to work. Sweeeeeeet. And yes, I need a Canon G9 camera charger.

The Herald Sun has a photo gallery. My favourite is the Pointless Inventions gallery. So politically correct.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/gallery-e6frf7jo-1225792822133?page=16

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/gallery-e6frf7jo-1225792822133?page=42

I don’t have a missus, but I have two awesome female housemates, which is kinda like having a girlfriend, or two if I’m a Jerry Springer guest, so I now know not to fart, or to buy these five things for a birthday, engagement, wedding present.

Go Girl FUD, so she can pee standing up. Girls prefer to sit down, chat to their friends in the next stall about 90210 and Grey’s Anatomy.

Bion Moustache Shaver – Unless she is Woggy. Only then is it okay.

Discount Penthouse magazine subscription – Because you should buy yourself a discount Penthouse subscription. Or look at the photos via a Google search to save that $22.95.

Discount cellulite reduction/liposuction machine voucher – Because then she will know you are lying when you say she is not overweight, tubby, fat, obese, whatever euphemism you can come up with… All of which my housies ain’t. Serious.

Rubber novelty poop - Same goes for rubber vomit. Unless your missus is 7. For some stupid reason, girls don’t find bodily functions funny, no matter how drunk you are/were, even when rubber-fied. I don’t get it either.

Bob from 7-11 gave me some more freebie magazines. yesterday Naturally, I ditched the Soccer and NRL ones, keeping People, Picture, and the other trash filled with boobs. I was just pooping not long ago, reading the classifieds, and came across the $12/day subscription garbage old men get sucked into. And I could not believe my eyes. The girl from the motivational poster is named Tanya.

And Next Door Nikki? She’s also had a name and age change. Katie? Bah!

I’m disappointed that girls like Next Door Nikki would resort to using their image on dodgy phone scams, spesh when their suggestive-yet-non-nude websites would be making a fortune.